Friday, May 25, 2012

The Hip Bone Connected to the Foot Bone

Went for a follow up visit with my rheumatologist this week.  Yeah, I have aches and pains, but nothing serious.  I'm telling the truth.  I actually first went months ago just to double-check that nothing was wrong.  I have had the usual back pain for DECADES.  But hey, I can deal with it.  But that's not what I am writing about.

Anyway, I went to the check up.  I always like to arrive a little early so I can get whatever paperwork out of the way.  Always paperwork, no matter how many times I say, "Yes, everything is (exactly) the same as before.  Everything." Then they ask (every single time), "You still have the same insurance?"  Uh, that's part of the "everything" I was referring to.  But that's not what I am writing about.

I finally get called back, about 15 minutes after my appointment time.  I follow the assistant into the exam room.  We sit down, and then she proceeds to ask me a few of the same questions I answered on that paperwork that I arrived early to take care of.  Okay.  And then, to my horror, she asks me, "How much do you weigh?"  People, I just wrote that $%^&";#* down on that paperwork.  Now I had to say it out loud.  Holy cow.  Okay, I survived, but I somehow felt obliged to add, "But I am working on it."  What the hell?!?  Whatever.

Next, I was surprised with a blood drawing.  Oh neato.  I did not expect this.  Yuck.  What I found funny about that whole deal was how securely the nurse wrapped the cotton ball on my arm after she took my vials (gallons) of blood.  I guess it would be safe if I ran a marathon back to my car after the appointment.

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It kinda cut off my circulation, if you want to be honest here.  (Look, that is my foot underneath my arm.)

After the blood letting, I waited for the doctor.  And waited. And checked my Instagram account.  And took a few picturse (of course).  And waited.  And posted to my Instagram account.  This is news worthy stuff here.

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And waited.

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And noticed that no doctor is sitting there yet.


And found a magazine that I assumed is the adult version of the kiddie Highlights magazine? Dang.

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But, believe it or not, this is not what I am writing about, either. It's what happened when the doc finally entered the exam room for my appointment.


I was sitting on the end of the table. He asked me how I have been in the last six months. I feel great, yay for me. Then . . . he reached for one of my shoes, so he could check my feet. Oh.No.Not.The.Feet!!! And then he took off the other shoe! It has been a few (many) weeks since my last pedicure. My toenails look yucky, the polish is chipped and even missing on some spots. Geeeeez. But I acted like nothing was awry.  Naturally.

And then, what I had NOT planned for, happened. He needed to check the mobility in my LEGS. (What? I walked into this office just fine. These things work. Don't check.)

Yes, these are the same legs that I haven't shaved in a week (month). Oh.Mah.Gawd. There was no way this guy couldn't notice these things.

This is how I wanted my feet and legs to look.


Broke Out My Pasty Whites


Unfortunately, this is how I know my feet and legs looked.


I survived. I don't need to go back for another six months. I will shave my legs by then. Or it will be cold enough for socks. We'll see.

Geez.

4 comments:

Green Girl in Wisconsin

I had a similar moment of humiliation when I went in to see about a rash on my foot. The stubble wasn't even stubble. I had a layer of FUR.

TeresaR

The rheumatologist looks at your feet?! I thought that was the podiatrist. Shows how much I know. ;)

I have never, ever had a pedicure. I don't care how my feet look. I do, however, care how my feet smell, and the poor doc would have passed out, I'm sure, if he wanted to check my feet unannounced.

I hear ya on the repeating everything ad nauseum thing. WT heck?? It happened to me at the mammogram appt and the gyn appt. I go to my gyn once a year. Nothing ever changes. Oy vey.

septembermom

Oh no! I feel your pain about those hairy legs :) You did give me a chuckle or two with this post!

jonh lee

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